Gas Prices

Congress has just passed a bill that would make price gouging a federal crime.

Some of you will think that's great and hoot and holler that our government is finally helping 'the little guy' 'stick it to the man.'

And if that's you... you are just ignorant on how prices work.

But don't feel bad. If you have more than 12 working brain cells, I'm going to make you a bit smarter and enlighten you on this subject.

But... if you're absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the prices are 'high' because George Bush wants them that way and 'big oil' is in his back pocket and they're just plain greedy... do me a favor and yourself a favor and please quit reading and go turn on Air America (if you can find it) or go help Jimmy Carter build a house.

Still here?

Good.

First of all... what IS price gouging? I'll bet your definition is something along the lines of charging too much for something. So let's go with that. Let's say I'm going to sell you a box of pencils for $40 bucks. Would you buy it?

Me neither.

Was it a case of price gouging? No, that was me just being stupid and greedy in hopes of trying to sell you a box of pencils for $40 bucks. You didn't buy it and I'm stuck with my pencils.

(By the way, the trusty government defines gouging as prices that are "unconscionably excessive" or "indicate(s) that the seller is taking unfair advantage of unusual market conditions." Best of luck in deciphering that.)

You might try to define price gouging as charging too much for something people NEED. (Who NEEDS a box of pencils?!) Bottled water for $10 bucks a pop like during Hurricane Katrina comes to mind. Let's look at that.

Big, bad natural disaster. People need things. Like water. So you take time off from your job, go buy 2,000 cases of bottled water at Costco, rent a big U-Haul truck and drive 13 hours to the disaster site.

How much will you sell your water for? A buck a bottle? If you do, best of luck making enough money to make it worth your while. And are you really going to drive back home and do it all over again and come back with more water to sell for a whopping buck? I didn't think so. And since you aren't... what about the OTHER people who need water? Since you aren't coming back, what are they to do?

No, you'll sell your bottled water at 5 bucks a pop or more. When the money comes pouring in (hopefully), you can go back home, buy MORE water, then return and sell MORE WATER to MORE PEOPLE.

What's better? Selling your water to 100 people or 500 people? (Forget the emotional aspect... what IS BETTER? 100 people having water or 500?)

'Price gouging' has another advantage. Yeah, you heard me. AN ADVANTAGE. If you were to sell the water for a whole buck a bottle, you're likely to get someone to come in and clean house and buy everything you got.

Which leaves no water for anybody else.

Get the picture?

Here's another example: Hotel rooms. A room that goes for $50 a night might bump up to $200 a night when a disaster strikes.

Now imagine... mom, dad and 2 kids, going elsewhere to leave a disaster decide to go get a hotel room. Usually they get TWO rooms. One for them, one for the kids. But since the room rates are now 400% higher at 200 bucks, they decide to 'rough it' and get ONE room instead.

So now there's another room available for whoever needs it. If the prices had stayed at 50 bucks, the happy family may have gotten two rooms, leaving our nameless, faceless person to sleep in the car instead of a nice, warm hotel room.

I know what you're thinking: 'Yeah, but what about the POOR people who can't afford a 200 dollar room or 10 bucks for bottled water?'

That's secondary. Getting people help first is primary and that's being done. You are more than welcome to dip into your own pocket or take some bottled water to the disaster scene and help. And profits come into play here as well. If you're making a killing on bottled water, you may then be able to AFFORD to give some away to those who can't afford it!

So how does all this translate to what's going on with gasoline prices? Are we really being gouged? Let's look at what goes into setting the price of a gallon of gas.

The oil has to be sucked up from the Earth (expensive process), then refined to make gasoline (another expensive process) and then shipped all over the country to your local gas station (not a cheap process). If you think you can do all that yourself and do it for LESS than three bucks a gallon right, by all means, get to it!

Don't forget that taxes make up a good chunk of the price of gas as well. But don't expect Congress to lower the taxes. Instead, they look to demonize the one's actually making it POSSIBLE to get you gas in the first place: The evil 'big oil' companies.

Now you may hear that 'big oil' makes huge profits every month (or day or hour). True... but at around 10 cents profit (or so) per gallon, you're going to have to pump a lot of gas for them to make that kind of money.

And you are. So essentially... it's YOUR FAULT they make money.

But don't feel bad. I'll gladly share in that blame as well! I'd rather drive my own car than take a bus somewhere or sit at home. Just like you. We're willing to pay that price to drive our own way.

If you think you're getting screwed at the pump now... just imagine what it would be like if 'big oil' decided, 'Screw it. We've made enough. We're outta here.'

Forget that! I'll gladly pay 3.10 a gallon for gas. It sure as heck beats the alternative.

Apologize for Slavery?!

The big ruckus in Alabama right now is whether or not the state is going to apologize for slavery.
Should the legislature pass such a measure, Governor Riley has already promised to sign it.

Some think this is just and besides... what would it hurt? Others can't even comprehend the mere thought of allowing it to happen.

Questions to ponder:

The state of Alabama would apologize to whom? Every black in the country or just blacks in the state? And on whose behalf would the apology come from? Mine? Yours? 'White Alabama?' Don't forget, there were blacks that also owned slaves back in the day.

I read (somewhere) that less than 4% of the population owned any slaves at all.

And would the state really be apologizing for the acts of others that happened more than 125 years ago?

If anything, this is nothing more than a 'feel good' measure on behalf of our state legislature. If you can't tell, I'm pretty much against this idea. It's pointless. A waste of time.

And according to some political scientist in Auburn (D'Linell Finley - Home: 334-279-5518, Work: 334-244-3741), I feel this way because of a 'lack of education' on this topic, I'm also afraid... and I'm also a racist! (Huntsville Times, May 22, 2007, B1)

And so are you if you feel the same way.

(Note: The term our distinguised 'scientist' is looking for is actually 'bigot,' not 'racist.')

On another note, when Queen Elizabeth was here (in the country) earlier this month, I was REALLY hoping she was going to offer an apology to all Americans on behalf of England for our mistreatment under the reign of King George the 3rd.

Letters To The Editor

Sometimes when I read letters to the editor in The Huntsville Times, I have to wonder if the person writing the letter actually believes what they wrote, are just plain ignorant or like to make it sound like the end is near.

Here's a quote:

'...isn't it... unfortunate that 28,000 children die each day in America from poverty?'

Oh wow. Seriously?

IF that were true (it isn't), that's more than TEN MILLION children dead each year. With a population of a little more than 300 million in this country, the entire United States population would be gone in less than 30 years. Probably quicker.

Does that even sound plausible? TEN MILLION kids die in the U.S. each year?

Please...

Now I never went to medical school and all I know about what a coroner does is from HBO, but in my 30+ years on this Earth, I've never heard a cause of death as 'poverty.'

'Your honor, it is the opinion of this court that little Johnny died from acute poverty.'

Heart attacks, gun shot wounds, car accidents, heart disease... Yes.
Poverty?! In this country?

Please...

3 Cheers For Guns!

Recently The Huntsville Times printed an article about a shooting in Huntsville earlier this week. An armed man wearing a ski mask, Demarcus Williams, broke down the door of an apartment.

Can you guess what his intentions were?

Ski mask. Gun. Breaks down door of apartment.

I'll bet he wasn't trying to deliver a pizza in 30 minutes or less.

Williams decision to arm himself, throw on a ski-mask and break into an apartment wasn't the only bad choice of his day. The resident of the apartment was home when he broke in.

And also armed.

Rest easy. There's now one less person on the street who may break into your home. Demarcus is taking a well deserved dirt nap. Three cheers to the armed individual for protecting himself, his family and his property.

Huntsville Police spokesperson, Wendell Johnson, said, "When somebody breaks in your house and you are in fear of your life, you have the right to self-defense."

I don't know about you, but if someone breaks into my house, I don't have to be in fear of my life in order to introduce the intruder to a severe case of lead poisoning or a Louisville Slugger upside the head.

I have the right to self-defense 24/7. Whether my life may be in danger or not.

Later in the article The Times reported that the '...shooting death was the city's seventh homicide of the year.'

Seventh homicide? At this rate, there will be about 20 (give or take) homicides in Huntsville in 2007.

Hypothetical: Go ahead and assume that there will be 20 homicides this year. Sometime in late January or February of 2008, officials will release those numbers. The press will be quick to run the headlines, 'Record high (or low) of gun-related deaths (or homicides) in 2007.' The anti-gun Nazi's will be quick to scream for more 'gun control' (whatever that means) as 'x amount' of deaths is 'x amount' too many.

What is sure to be missing from these future headlines and stories is what you just read about: An individual who used a gun to shoot and kill an armed intruder in his home.

SELF DEFENSE.

It's my guess that this shooting will be lumped in with all the other shooting deaths in Huntsville in '07. Drug related, domestic related, etc.

That's wrong. But I hope I'm wrong about that.